There many unspoken culture or habit for Korean relating to having a love relationship aka dating or going further on marriage.
The common says that often heard is
Do not date someone when you don’t have money
You’re not allow to think about marriage when you even don’t have a stable job
When you’re jobless the last thing you can think is being in a relationship, or more; you cannot think it at all
Sound harsh? Not, for Korean! there’s a lot of truth behind it. Let’s begin to dig reasons behind it;
Korean young generations are pump up to study hard, real hard to get a good grads, some even when nuts about it. When they start working all they think would be work..work..again work..just work hard trying to climb up to a stable position or get a high salary.
This lead to a harsh reality when it comes to go out dating, the young man is always counting how much he is going to spend for one day date, is it worth it? is the girl or the woman is really meant for him? If it is only a casual date, they tend not spending much money or not spend at all for the woman. Going dutch is likely the fact. Calculation is really happening.
The wise young Korean, usually will save up money with the intention of having enough saving to be married. Particularly when they don’t have a ‘chaebol’ parents or rich family to support them. Now it start to make sense to you right?!
The idea of throwing money for a merely dating really unappealing to them. When the man spend money on one date, it is very common the next date the woman also spend her money. Take and give in a hard unromantic way, but surprise surprise.. most Korean woman really fine with this kind of arrangement, some women says this good in a way not to put a burden on her when the relationship end up failed. (read: the man cannot accused her of being materialistic).
When you as foreigner went out with Korean man, and one day he treats you going out place, delicious food maybe even movie, don’t be surprise if the next day he will ask you to pay for the next date, or he complaint about why you didn’t try to chip in for the last date. It happens to my Canadian friend, she is really shock about it because she thought the date went really nice and fine. I am just laughing and telling her that’s just the way it works for most Korean. The idea of man pay on first date really not a Korean thing. When it happens and the relationship still ongoing, be extremely grateful, because it is really rare happening.
If you ready to embrace this ‘unspoken relationship culture’, then likely you will have a steady and lasting relationship with Korean. When marriage happening, actually this kind of habit is invaluable you the most, because both of you will always try to use money wisely. Building a family is not an easy task to do. Being frugal in dating and finally reach a final dreams of being able to join hand in a proper marriage, can be a good deal also. It takes two wise people to do so. After all, in a western part of the world we also believe these vow; in sickness in health, for richer and for poor, ’till death us do part! For Korean, why not start from the beginning of the relationship?! ❤